Standing in the circle in the playground, the ball lands majestically on Stephen’s chest. He knees it and with a gentle side foot, kicks it towards Scott. Scott controls it instantly with the top of his foot before heading the ball in my direction. It feels like it’s moving in slow motion. I don’t want to be the one who drops it, so I say to myself, “Keep it simple.” I do what feels natural as I knee the ball and kick it towards Shane.
In the classroom, Mrs. Farrel draws an equation on the board: “What is 3/4 of 40?” My hand shoots up. I start waving and looking around the classroom as if to say, “I was first, pick me!”
She does. I smile, stand, and proudly say, “30,” then proceed to walk through how I worked it out in my head.
I arrive home that evening and dinner is served: boiled plantain, black-eyed bean stew, and leafy greens on the side with a plastic cup of orange juice. I love everything on my plate except the greens. So my strategy is to mix what I love with what I detest as I eat each mouthful. Once dinner is done, my plate is empty, and my mum smiles proudly as I take my plate to place it in the kitchen sink.
In all three stories above, as a kid, who was I trying to impress? My friends, my teacher, and my mother. At work, who are you trying to impress? A client? A colleague? A manager?
Throughout life, we spend a lot of time impressing others, for better or for worse. But ask yourself: are you impressed with yourself?
It’s a difficult thing to measure, right? Maybe a better question is: “Are you proud of how you showed up?”
Here we could measure things such as:
- Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
- Equity: treating people with fairness.
- Talent: showing up with your unique set of skills and experience to help others.
Focusing solely on impressing others often leads to neglecting our own values and authentic selves. Over time, this can lead to us becoming a smaller and smaller expression of who we are, which is a disservice to the world.
As you go out into the world this week, have a check-in midweek and ask yourself whether you are proud of how you are showing up.