I rarely come across a podcast that genuinely reframes how I see myself.
But last week, I had one of those moments and it hit me hard. So much so, I cleared 90% of my diary to reset with intention.
The podcast was discussing Feelings, Frames and Floors. Let me explain each of them before sharing why it hit me so directly.
Introducing Feelings, Frame and Floors
Feelings
I’ve written before about Time Audits, reviewing our calendars to see how we spend our time. But this podcast introduced a new twist: paying attention to how we feel about how we’ve spent our time. Feelings here describe how we pay attention to how we felt when we look back and audit how we have spent our time.
It is a journaling technique that focuses on answering three questions:
- What brings your energy?
- What drains your energy?
- What insights have you gained?
I discovered that what brings me energy is having the freedom and time to research, think and create. What drained my energy was the constant shackling I feel due to admin duties like diary management i.e. back and forth of scheduling meetings as well as the meetings themselves. One key insight I gained was that I need to protect my time more intentionally — not just for work, but for school drop-offs, swimming, and other self-care that fuels me. From school drop offs to self-care like swimming not just work.
What one of the three C’s are you?
- Caged – You feel stuck
- Comfortable – You made it, you worked so hard to get here. You are successful externally but not fulfilled internally
- Charged – You are working on something incredible, pushing up, becoming the best person you can be
I felt caged due to the lack of discipline I had over my diary which led me to reset and clear 90% of my meetings and commitments.
Frame
A goal properly set is halfway reached. – Zig Ziglar
For years, I’ve coached and taught business owners about setting an aspirational vision, I often say, “write your vision in ink but your strategy in pencil.” Another way of saying that is, “there are many streams that all lead into the ocean.” But I realised as one of my insights that I needed a refreshed vision.
At this point in my life, I’ve achieved things I’m proud of — from co-founding a music startup that influenced British culture, to receiving an MBE for helping make the venture capital industry more equittable. There are countless moments that matter I’ve experienced along that journey from meeting President Obama to being a present father to my two children and an attentive husband to my wife.
I am proud of all of that.
One word kept coming to mind as I began setting a new frame for myself: pursuit, something meaningful to strive toward. I am still in the process of exploring what this is but as I write my book, pay attention to the work I design and say yes to and the feedback I receive, I know it will become clearer as I am intentional about it.
I am stretching myself to set a vision 10x not 10% bigger than where I am today, to have the desired impact I want to have in the world and to inspire me to raise my floor.
I have to design what game I want to design and play. We all have the agency to choose.
Floor
Your frame determines your floor and your floor determines what you focus on. For example, my niece loves to play football and she is pretty good. She could play for dozens of teams and improve as a footballer. However, if her parents agree with her that her frame is to become a professional footballer one day it raises her floor. Now, she must focus on academies, professional teams and coaches that nurture high performance at the elite level and provide a pathway to professional football.
The floor is the baseline of what you can say yes or no to. Society talks a lot about setting goals (frame) but not enough around setting floors.
Standards set are standards met.
A high floor provides the platform that helps you get to the next level to achieve your frame.
Steve Jobs said “Focus is really about saying no to almost everything.” Warren Buffet similarly said, ” The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people say no to almost everything.” This is why strategy is largely defined by what you don’t do. I knew I had to implement this strategy by raising my floor to get me more focused.
My floor was too low. I love fostering human connection and as a ‘giver’ the shadow that gets cast is that I can overextend myself in giving more than I have to give. In this case it was my time. I know this comes from the fact that I value inclusion and therefore felt I needed to be accessible to meet people where they are and help them.
In order to be the best version of myself, to make smart decisions on a consistent basis and to restore my lifestyle design with my family whilst doing meaningful work, I had to raise my floor. This means reframing how I scale support and stay accessible through live events, content, and media rather than constant 1:1 meetings.
One simple shift for me I knew I had to make was hiring a virtual assistant as an accountability partner to help me achieve my ambitious goal.
So, I’ll leave you with this:
Are you Caged, Comfortable, or Charged up?
Because how you feel reveals what needs your attention and where your attention goes, your energy flows.
Your frame reveals the future you’re building.
And your floor sets the standard for how you’ll get there.
This isn’t about hustle. It’s about alignment.
It’s about living a life that honours your values, your energy, and your vision.
Right now, I’m raising my floor so I can lead with more clarity, creativity, and connection.
How about you?
PS. This is the Linkedin post about my Reset
PPS. This is the podcast I referred to, Social Proof with David Shands and Dr. Benjamin Hardy