My Personal User Guide

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About This Guide

I first got exposed to the concept of a personal user guide by Charles Hudson from Precursor Ventures who experienced reading one from a founder he invested in and then adopted it himself. I couldn’t find the podcast episode to share but I did find this useful blog on the topic by First Round Review.

The purpose of this guide is for you to understand the context of who I am, how I navigate the world and make decisions and how best to collaborate with me. If you have one, I would love to read it too 😃.

Background

I was born in the UK and grew up with my older brother Kwabz (Kwabena or Samuel depending on who you ask) and my younger brother Daniel. My parents originate from Ghana, grew up as followers of Christ and sacrificed the life they knew in Ghana for potential opportunity in the UK. From a young age I realised I had a sense of privilege I inherited because of this. I was curious about the relationship between people with potential and access to opportunity from a young age I wondered how my cousins back in Ghana had high potential but low access to opportunity for no fault of their own. Growing up in Tottenham, London, UK was like “Little Ghana.” The first entrepreneur I met in my family was my aunt who owned a food store in West Green Road, London. She sold Ghanaian food such as Plantains, Yams and all the ingredients you need for a good soup or stew.

Culturally, I grew up respecting my elders, greeting adults with a handshake and smile and wearing white and black and black and red to funerals. This is based on a Ghanaian custom which lasts 3 days to respect, mourn and celebrate the dead. I experienced this when my Grandma and my father passed away whilst growing up. She was the only grandparent I ever met and it would be an overstatement to say we had a relationship that I can remember.

Tottenham was (and still is) one of the most multicultural wards in Europe where over 90 nationalities existed and 300 languages are spoken. I was moulded by diversity and inclusion from a young age. My identity was influenced heavily by growing up Ghanaian, in Tottenham as a young Black boy dancing to Hip Hop, Bashment, Reggae, Grime and Pop. Tottenham was notorious for all the wrong reasons from unemployment to crime. I saw an abundance of opportunities from the transferable skills such as grit, confidence and the hustle from the entrepreneurial friends and people that grew up in my environment.

Entering into the world of professional work was like two worlds colliding, I was 60% my true self initially at Ernst & Young and had no role models I could relate to or networks to access opportunities. I questioned whether people like me could become leaders in corporate companies.

Luckily, I didn’t let that limiting belief shackle me, instead, I focused on feeding my curiosity which led to my biggest leaps in learning, such as meeting my best friend, Lynette Ayim at age 16 and later getting married at age 31. Our relationship feels like a phone call we have never hung up. Or going backpacking to Latin America at age 21 and being told, “It’s not the black thing to do, you could get killed.” Or even writing blogs, sharing stories, bringing people together around highlighting and solving the problem of a lack of diversity & inclusion in the tech sector which led to receiving an MBE in 2020 from Princess Anne at Windsor Castle.

My family inspire me, they have always loved me, encouraged me and been brilliant role models throughout my life from the hardworking nature of my father to the faith-based risk-taking nature of my mother and my brother’s entrepreneurial spirit. I see all this in my wife and more, she inspires me to be a better human.

I also really like spending time alone reflecting, thinking, journaling (almost daily) and creating. I go into a shell when I am around people for too long without space for me. On the surface, people think I am extroverted because of how I show up, hold space and share my passion but it can be draining so I need to rest and recover usually after a long day of giving in this way.

To learn more about me you can listen to a number of podcast interviews I have been featured on by checking out my site.

Guiding Principles

I am a big believer in developing a set of guiding principles to help me make smarter decisions consistently. This has helped me be intentional about my family lifestyle design.

Be 100% your most authentic self
- Belonging is important, so find communities and work environments where you belong and can be a full expression of yourself.
Play YOUR long game
- Measure your life in decades not days, and be patient, compounding relationships, knowledge and money requires time. Focus on direction over speed, it’s a game of inches.
Consistency is a strength
- Have the discipline to keep showing up and put into practice what you continuously learn.
Life is an adventure
- Romans 12.2: Don’t conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. My biggest leaps in learning and growth came from the edge of my comfort zone. Those who have nothing to lose have the ability to take the biggest risks in life. Continuously learn, feed my curiosity and track the results.
Serve from a place of love
- Be a giver and serve something bigger than yourself. Remember service starts at home so don’t compromise your loving relationships as on your death bed you won’t ask for your investments or laptops but rather your loved ones so optimise a meaningful life with them from today. Ubuntu, “I am because of you”.

Personal Mission

I AM an authentic connector, that is my genius

MY PERSONAL MISSION: To create pathways to opportunity through fostering spaces where leaders can be more human at work

WHY: To unlock potential in humanity in order to shape a better future for us all

HOW: Inspiring through teaching, mentoring, coaching, sharing stories and facilitating safe spaces to have vulnerable and open conversations.

TODAY I DO THIS THROUGH:

Executive Coaching and Leadership Development: Content Stories, Speaking Engagements, Workshops and Projects
Angel Investments: Patient capital invested in gap-closing companies with ambitions to shape a better future of the world. Chasing profitable growth over venture risk

Life Priority Stack

Self-care and personal wellness because If I am not healthy and fit mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically I can’t be there for my family or tribe
My family’s self-care and wellness because if they are stressed, upset, or not in a great place, it impacts my ability to be present and fully express myself as I’ll have them on my mind.
Be there for friends: Check-in and not only in times of need. My inner circle.
Do meaningful work with value-aligned people for people who care

Subconsciously, we all have a life priority stack, whether we write it down or not. At the start of my career, I was more selfish, thinking about career progression, pay rises, titles and work being the sun of my universe. Having a daughter changed my life for the better in many ways. One of them was in my family becoming the sun of my universe as I intentionally worked on structuring life around the people and things that would matter most on my deathbed. I wouldn’t be asking for my phone, laptop, investments or cars in my dying moments. I would be crying asking for more time with my loved ones so why not optimise that now.

Two books created for thinking deeper about this are Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom and Second Mountain by David Brooks.

My Character

Here are a few of my character traits.

I’m a hopeless optimist. I believe in the good of humanity and always try to find positive outcomes and opportunities in situations. Sometimes I’ve been told I can be too optimistic!
I love feeding my curiosity. I believe my biggest leaps in learning have come from doing so. Also means I ask why A LOT and try and understand the root cause of problems.
I’m empathetic. I love connecting with people personally and understanding their lived experiences, perspectives and how it influences behaviours. Some people may find this intrusive if they are private people or like to separate work self from home self.
I love reading books that I can connect with emotionally. Personal stories like How Will You Measure Your Life, When Breath Becomes Air and so many more.
I try to treat people like I like to be treated. Sometimes I don’t let my true feelings surface as I always try and treat people equally and politely regardless of how they treat me. I need to get better at being honest at times and not holding back.
I am flexible and love connecting with people from different walks of life. Taoism resonates with me because Water is always in harmony, when phased with an obstacle like a rock, it finds a solution and flows around it. Love this quote by Bruce Lee:
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
However, sometimes I am too giving of my time to people and feel I can “fix” or “change” people which is wrong, although it comes from being a giver and helper.

My Brand Archetype:

The Sage: Expert, Teacher, Thinker

To understand the world and teach others what you know. To seek and share the truth.

What is the Sage Brand Archetype?

When customers experience your Sage brand, they can’t help but feel a sense of enlightenment. They trust that you are “in the know” and possess the wisdom they seek. Your brand imparts knowledge and understanding, allowing them to navigate complexities with confidence.

However, like every hero, the Sage brand faces its villains. The fear of being duped, misled, or falling victim to ignorance can hinder progress. It’s crucial to inspire critical thinking and equip your audience with the tools to navigate a world filled with misinformation and deceit.

While on your brand journey, be mindful of potential pitfalls. Avoid getting trapped in endless study and analysis, preventing you from taking action. Strive to balance intellect with action and ensure that your brand is not devoid of feeling and emotion. Connect with your audience on both an intellectual and emotional level, fostering a well-rounded experience.

When it comes to your brand voice, let it be factual, decisive, authoritative, intelligent, and thoroughly researched. Speak with confidence and provide valuable insights backed by a thorough investigation. Your voice should inspire trust and convey the depth of knowledge you possess.

Celebrate the enlightened wisdom of your Sage brand archetype and let it guide you in empowering education, profound insight, and engrossing experiences. Embrace your role as a guide and mentor, illuminating the path to understanding for those who seek knowledge. Get ready to create a world where wisdom prevails, and minds are enlightened by the power of your Sage brand.

Mission & Work:

💡 Personal mission is to create pathways to opportunity so that people from all backgrounds can bring their difference.

I love solving people problems as people are the biggest asset and drawback of a successful or failing business. This is why I love working with entrepreneurs and supporting them with shaping inclusive cultures from the outset. Equally working with leaders in large corporates enables them to affect change at scale and unlock difference.

My favourite three poems

“The supreme goodness is like water.

It benefits all things without contention.

In dwelling, it stays grounded.

In being, it flows to depths.

In expression, it is honest.

In confrontation, it stays gentle.

In governance, it does not control.

In action, it aligns to timing.

It is content with its nature and therefore cannot be faulted.”

– Lao-Tzo

What drives me?

Love: For me, God is love and expressing love towards friends, family and humanity is our highest calling of service. Being an ever-present and happy husband and father is my primary driver. This way my lifestyle is designed around optimising for this.
Intellectually curious. Love problems that make me think deeply, cause me to do research, speak to others and arrive at an informed opinion. It’s part of why I love checking out startups to invest in.
Providing access to opportunity. Whenever I navigate into new spaces, I am always very conscious about how can bring others along into spaces we belong. The rising tide lifts all boats.
Inspirational teaching. It feels like I am in a flow state when I teach others and inspire and enable people to grow.

How I work

🧠 “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear

I love early mornings. I relish the quiet and peaceful time between 4.30am – 5.30am when I wake up. I am a baby as soon as its 9pm/10pm and could literally fall asleep in a club without the consumption of alcohol. I’m just wired that way.

One of the challenges I faced when leaving a job and starting my business was creating a system to make the most of my time. I saw this as my personal operating system, similar to how your phone as an operating system which all other applications sit on top off. I need solid foundations that I could build on too. Three questions I had to answer for myself was:

How do you FEEL at the end of the week? How do you know it’s been time well spent?

Personal wellbeing first, as its the root of being the best I can be (dad, leader, creator etc)
Make sure family are happy → if they are not feeling great, it affects how I feel
Spending time alone or with people and content that nurtures me

I have a weakness in having “too many meetings” how can I be more ruthless in saying no and protecting thinking time?

I hired a virtual assistant but first I really needed to:

Accept I cannot spend time with everyone who wants my time ✅
Create my user guide on how to work with Andy Ayim ✅
Needed to create recurring space that I would honour in my diary ✅
Needed to ruthlessly prioritise the things that matter most ✅
Saying No brought me optionality, where as saying yes was like taking out a debt with a promise to pay with my time at a future date, i.e. like agreeing to go onto a podcast episode. ✅

How can I find more space to think, create and reflect?

Thinking: including thought-provoking conversations, reading, doing research, planning and preparation enables me to think quality thoughts which is a key input to creating and providing value for my tribe.Creating: is an output of quality thinking, we are all creative. Creativity is messy. That’s what I enjoy most about it, I can go from playing with my daughter, to speaking to a friend, to writing my thoughts and feelings in Notion, to designing a presentation in Canva to delivering a passionate speech. What a mess 😂 and I LOVE IT.Reflecting: With all three, time blocking in my calendar has been essential. For reflection, I keep a digital journal called my tracker where I keep notes on everything like a second brain from memories from my daughters birthday to how I felt facilitating a class for The Angel Investing School. Every two weeks I have a “retrospective” where I look back and reflect on:

What worked well?
What didn’t work so well?
What actions can I take based on what I learned?

Every 6 months, I do a Mid-Year Review then Full Year Review. Usually take 1-1.5 days to complete each. I call this my Think-Create-Reflect System and below is an illustration of an ideal day.

4.30 am: I am consuming biblical-related content to learn, feel inspired and feed my inner core.
5 am: I am doing a workout (home or gym), meditation and having a shower.
7 am: I am waking up my daughter then getting her ready for school.
8 am: I am taking her to school.
9 am: I am going for a swim.
10 am: I am thinking, reading, reflecting and/ or doing research.
12 pm: I am having lunch with my wife followed by a short walk together.
1 pm: I am creating content or doing other related work like preparing a presentation.
3 pm: I am driving home from picking her up from school.
4 pm: I am having work related meetings.
5 pm: I am finishing off work for the day.
6 pm: I am having dinner and playing/ spending time with the family.
7 pm: I am putting my daughter to bed.
8 pm: I am spending time with my wife.
9 pm: I am winding down for bed with my wife.
10 pm: I am sleeping peacefully, stress free, happy about the day I just completed.

I do 70% -80% of this already but of course no two days are the same. For example, I go for walks, I run, I read books, I usually bulk create content on a single day but the above is an example of a fulfilling day I want to regularly experience. Also client workshops often could consume a whole day so as a fail safe I try to leave the following day meeting free.

Best way to communicate with me

Most important: I live in my calendar, it’s my core operating system alongside Notion. It tells me what to do and when. All the rest comes second.

Personal:

Whatsapp is an instant messenger, I prefer to reserve it for family and friends not work. Don’t get offended if I don’t reply straight away.
Don’t get offended if I value our friendship but we don’t meet up f2f often
I value friendship and deep conversations about life (I enjoy them). Ubuntu, ‘I am because of you.’ I tend to have personal conversations in professional settings of course, respecting personal boundaries. It helps me build trust and lead with vulnerability as a visible role model.

Work:

Email is not instant messenger. I reply when it fits with me rather than instantly based on receiving an email
I can be productive in answering specific questions on emails, doesn’t need to be a 30 minute call
Unplanned calls are only for things that are urgent, important things can be by email
Scheduled meetings should be mutually beneficial → I avoid a lot of new meetings that can be solved with One to many interactions like “I want to learn more about AIS” → this can be solved through reading my blogs, watching my videos or attending my AIS Open Days.
I love walking meetings but all meetings need to have a clear purpose if not agenda to respect for each others time and to ensure it is mutually beneficial
Face to face workshops, keynotes and collaborative work is preferred over remote. Gives me a different energy and I can give a different energy in that presence too. ‘Wu Wei’ – Action of non action / Effortless action = this work represents FLOW state for me.

My Personal Investment Thesis

I tend to invest in people doing their life’s work, so its important I get to know people personally, where they grew up, what influenced them in childhood and how their lived experience shapes what they are working on today.

I like to invest in capital-efficient startups that prioritise profitable growth over venture scale. I believe founders can achieve great outcomes without becoming unicorns!

I invest alongside a network of angels through my work with the Angel Investing School. Nothing public, all private but it enables me to provide access to opportunities for my diverse operator network.

How I deal with stress

I realised that I don’t deal with stress well. My wife often offers wise counsel to me when stressed. One thing I’ve noticed across my life is that I am both introverted and extroverted. Introverted to recharge, extroverted in expressing myself.

When I get triggered I often go quiet, reflect, write in my journal and sometimes speak to a trusted friend or family member for another perspective for me to consider. I rarely act on impulse or anger. Anger is often an expression of our lowest selves.

What this means is that I love delivering a keynote in person and feel in flow state often when I do but it’s a draining experience and afterwards I want to reflect on the feedback, on the feeling of the experience and recharge alone.

When I have “too many meetings” and don’t have enough space and time to think, create and reflect, it stresses me out and I drains my energy as I don’t enjoy context switching or just being in conversations all day. In order for me to be a full expression of myself and give my best in service of others in a way where I can be present and pay attention, I need to time block and protect space intentionally in my calendar.

Please let me know when you feel like I’ve missed things, you probably know me better than I know myself! 😊.